Our country is a mess. We all seem to be at each other’s throats, and nobody is having very much fun. Last night it all went down and this morning I woke up to a fear and uncertainty about my rights and my future that I’d never quite felt before. That’s a scary thing, and I know a lot more people are worried about a lot more than I am.

I’ve never been a fan of politics. I’ve always avoided the conversations because I don’t like to argue or offend people. (Such a people pleaser.) But today, my rights are in danger because of someone else’s politics. It all feels very unfair. I wouldn’t say that I hate Trump supporters, but I do feel hated. I just don’t understand why. I think I’m a pretty great person, actually. Just trying to live my life, same as everyone else. One thing I’ve learned over this past year is that being silent just bolsters the vocal extremists. Nobody needs more of that.

So today I went on a walk in a little bit of a drizzling rain. It was getting dark and the lights were already on when I entered Central Park for the first time in a long time. I followed the paths I’ve taken many times before. I walked over crunchy leaves and smiled at the dogs and got out of the way of runners and bikers and as I breathed in the fresh air, things didn’t feel so scary anymore.

I’ve read a lot today about getting to work, fighting back, and not giving up. My fight will be doing everything in my power to not feel less than. My sex and my sexuality do not make me a lesser person, even though a lot of people’s actions are telling me otherwise. I will not let you make me small. And I will use my privilege in any way I can to stop you from trying to do the same to others.

We all deal with sadness in different ways. This month, I will be battling this devastation with Christmas. So I’m watching Christmas movies and listening to Christmas music while I work on Christmas gifts and plan my Christmas activities. And you don’t get to tell me that I’m celebrating too early or I’m skipping over Thanksgiving or I’m doing it wrong. Because I’m not telling you how to mourn, and my process is not up for election.

Listening To: A Christmas Baby’s Ultimate Christmas Playlist